Can we have a jokes thread?

If it ain't amber or ain't football then it belongs here!
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mad norm

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In a Station Lane not as long as Warnhams

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby mad norm » June 22nd, 2020, 8:02 pm

I kicked a ball into the air and missedp
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DeePeeNCAFC

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby DeePeeNCAFC » June 26th, 2020, 9:11 pm

Nope, I didn't get that last joke.

Try this one, and with apologies to Brendan in advance -

Covid-19 news from Ireland....Public swimming pools will reopen on the 4th July. Due to continuing social distancing rules, there will be no water in lanes
1,3 and 5.
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Stan A. Einstein

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby Stan A. Einstein » June 28th, 2020, 11:17 pm

DeePeeNCAFC wrote:Nope, I didn't get that last joke.

Try this one, and with apologies to Brendan in advance -

Covid-19 news from Ireland....Public swimming pools will reopen on the 4th July. Due to continuing social distancing rules, there will be no water in lanes
1,3 and 5.


Nope, I didn't get that last joke.

Try this one.

Snake goes into school. Teacher says what is ten divided by two.

How would I know? Says the snake, I'm only an adder.
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:18 pm

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a BACARDI and






























COKE.

The bartender looks at the bear and asks ''Why the big pause?''

The bear shrugs his shoulders and replys ''I dunno , I was born with them , I guess''
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:22 pm

Did you hear the rumour about Butter being bad for you ???




Dont ask me , I am not going to spread it
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:23 pm

Whats the most popular time to have a dental appointment ?????




Tooth hurt - y
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:28 pm

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ???







the same middle name :wink:
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:30 pm

What do you call BEARS with no ears ????????



B
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:34 pm

A man asks his wife of thirty years .......''Darling , Am I the only ONE you have ever slept with ?????









Yes darling , the rest were at least 7 or 8 out of 10
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » July 30th, 2020, 10:35 pm

What do TOFU and a VIBRATOR have in common ?????




They are both MEAT substitutes
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » August 3rd, 2020, 8:35 pm

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?


A PDF file
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » August 3rd, 2020, 8:38 pm

I farted at work the other day… and my co-worker started trying to open the window.




It must have been a really bad one — we are in the Navy and work on a submarine.
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neilcork68

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby neilcork68 » August 3rd, 2020, 8:41 pm

Having sex in an elevator is wrong.




On so many levels.
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DeePeeNCAFC

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby DeePeeNCAFC » August 12th, 2020, 5:06 pm

Keep them coming Neil. Keeping up forum users' spirits and bringing a smile to my face.
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DeePeeNCAFC

Re: Can we have a jokes thread?

Postby DeePeeNCAFC » August 12th, 2020, 5:12 pm

Best mate just told me he failed his aboriginal music exam a few months ago.

I asked him, "Did you re-do it?"
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